Sometimes I can't forgive you.
For leaving me with these people, for releasing me to their wretched, tender care.
I would have been better off with you;
You should have taken me with you.
I lost all the love I had when you died,
Both within me and within the world for me.
2025
i do not wish for love
love wishes for me
it tries to coax me into its arms
but i am cold flame made flesh
you cannot burn me
i do not long for love
but love longs for me
oh how it sighs its desire from seductive lips
but i am a river made stone
you cannot divert me
i do not mourn love
love mourns me
it weeps so ardently over my casket
but i am not dead
you cannot kill me
2025
I do not respect authority.
I loathe the very concept.
They have tried to beat it into me;
Tried to leash it to my bones.
I have fought and cut and spit on it.
I have pried it from my very soul.
I refuse to give away to you what I have never owned.
2025
I am a pacifist.
But the blood of my youth,
it stains me.
There is carnage in my shadows,
viscera in my claws.
I was a beast once
cornered and wounded,
and I killed for it.
I am a pacifist
because I cannot escape the bloodshed.
2025
they'll never understand the people they were to me;
the way they seemed to me;
the ways they were wretched to me.
in their eyes, they are innocent.
i had good food and nice clothes and a roof to sleep under.
what more could i need?
and sure enough, i was alive.
they kept me alive.
what more could i possibly need but to be alive?
2025
I was drowning,
And rather than pull me out of the water
Or put me out of my misery,
They gave me just enough air to stay alive and told me to be grateful.
They call that waterboarding elsewhere.
They call that torture.
2025
they say i'll die a useless death
because i'm too naive
they say be more realistic
because the "real" world isn't that kind
they say be more like them
because people like me never survive
so be it, i say
kill me then, i say
go ahead and try, i say
because i'd rather die in the attempt than live miserably because i didn't
2025
today, you turn 41
or rather, you will never turn 41
the same way you will never turn 32
when you turn 44
or rather, when you never turn 44
I will have lived longer without you than with you.
2025